Monday, November 14, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The next story is almost here!
The topic for the next story comes from yet another Reddit request:
"Can you set a story in purgatory where historical figures have to compete in a scavenger hunt/obstacle course competition to win a spot in Heaven?"
-deandra_reynolds
Coming soon...
"Can you set a story in purgatory where historical figures have to compete in a scavenger hunt/obstacle course competition to win a spot in Heaven?"
-deandra_reynolds
Coming soon...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Reddit Challenge story #20
Topic: A story about gaming…
Never in his life did Todd Lobe think that gaming would benefit him in any way. Ever since he was young, his parents instilled in him the idea that video games rotted your brains and could not possibly contribute to a better life. When his friends growing up got Nintendos and Playstations, Todd would always sit off to the side and not play; that was if his parents even allowed him to visit those friends. When he went to college he indulged in drinking and partying but still he avoided games due to his parents conditioning. Despite all that here was Todd Lobe sitting next to his eight year old son, both of them holding Nintendo Wii controllers- how did this all happen?
It began, of course, when Todd married his wife Lisa. Lisa was Todd’s better half in more ways than one; when Todd was shut-off and living the way his parents conditioned, Lisa was always the one who showed him how to open up. It started with their first date when Todd was scared of going to a Yoga lesson with Lisa. He had thought Yoga itself was strange enough, forgetting that he thought it to be a bad setting for a first date. However, Lisa showed him how to truly be open and enjoy himself, and after the first ‘Upward Facing Dog’ Todd had never felt so free in his life: Todd was in love. Their love soon sprouted its first product in their son, whom they named Jeff. Though he loved Jeff very much, as Jeff grew older Todd found it harder and harder to connect with him; Lisa was raising him to be the open-minded, free-spirited youth that Todd never could be and Todd did not want to change that. He needed a solution.
As usual when Todd needed help in a situation like this he went to Lisa, who gave him one simple instruction: go play video games with your son. Todd had initially protested even the idea of Jeff having a video game system but when he looked into his wife’s beautiful eyes he knew she was right. Thus, a nervous looking Todd approached his son playing Wii in the living room; he had seen Jeff play before but in general avoided paying attention. Todd sat down next to his son and asked him what he was playing. Jeff explained that he was playing a racing game where you used the controller as a wheel; Todd was amazed at the way Jeff was able to so easily and simply explain the game and soon picked up a controller of his own.
From the back of the room Lisa looked on as Todd finally picked up the controller; the look on Jeff’s face was worth every second she had worked in her life to reach this moment. Within a few minutes Jeff and Todd were both furiously flailing their controllers around like steering wheels, laughing and joking the whole time. Todd had never experienced a joy like the one he felt then, a mixture of the minor ecstasy one gets from gaming and the truly powerful feeling of finally being connected to his son.
Never in his life did Todd Lobe think that gaming would benefit him in any way. Ever since he was young, his parents instilled in him the idea that video games rotted your brains and could not possibly contribute to a better life. When his friends growing up got Nintendos and Playstations, Todd would always sit off to the side and not play; that was if his parents even allowed him to visit those friends. When he went to college he indulged in drinking and partying but still he avoided games due to his parents conditioning. Despite all that here was Todd Lobe sitting next to his eight year old son, both of them holding Nintendo Wii controllers- how did this all happen?
It began, of course, when Todd married his wife Lisa. Lisa was Todd’s better half in more ways than one; when Todd was shut-off and living the way his parents conditioned, Lisa was always the one who showed him how to open up. It started with their first date when Todd was scared of going to a Yoga lesson with Lisa. He had thought Yoga itself was strange enough, forgetting that he thought it to be a bad setting for a first date. However, Lisa showed him how to truly be open and enjoy himself, and after the first ‘Upward Facing Dog’ Todd had never felt so free in his life: Todd was in love. Their love soon sprouted its first product in their son, whom they named Jeff. Though he loved Jeff very much, as Jeff grew older Todd found it harder and harder to connect with him; Lisa was raising him to be the open-minded, free-spirited youth that Todd never could be and Todd did not want to change that. He needed a solution.
As usual when Todd needed help in a situation like this he went to Lisa, who gave him one simple instruction: go play video games with your son. Todd had initially protested even the idea of Jeff having a video game system but when he looked into his wife’s beautiful eyes he knew she was right. Thus, a nervous looking Todd approached his son playing Wii in the living room; he had seen Jeff play before but in general avoided paying attention. Todd sat down next to his son and asked him what he was playing. Jeff explained that he was playing a racing game where you used the controller as a wheel; Todd was amazed at the way Jeff was able to so easily and simply explain the game and soon picked up a controller of his own.
From the back of the room Lisa looked on as Todd finally picked up the controller; the look on Jeff’s face was worth every second she had worked in her life to reach this moment. Within a few minutes Jeff and Todd were both furiously flailing their controllers around like steering wheels, laughing and joking the whole time. Todd had never experienced a joy like the one he felt then, a mixture of the minor ecstasy one gets from gaming and the truly powerful feeling of finally being connected to his son.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Reddit Challenge story #19
Topic: one about a drug dealing gorilla
You join me today at the Brooklyn Zoo in New York City, which is in the United States of America. I am here to visit Jacob the Silverback Gorilla, a Gorilla unlike any other. Jacob eats like the other Gorillas, he walks and mates like the other Gorillas, but Jacob is unique because he has a side career: drug dealing.
That’s right; Jacob has been supplying the other Gorillas and great apes at the Brooklyn Zoo with one of New York City’s finest exports: New York Sour Diesel Marijuana. The story all began when Eric Goldberg- a resident of Brooklyn and known stoner- was visiting the zoo in September. Eric decided it would be a “hilarious idea” to give one of the Gorillas a joint and see what they did with it. Unknowingly, as his friends looked on and laughed, Eric passed a joint and a lighter to the nearest Gorilla, Jacob. Already recognized by the zoo staff as the smartest of their Gorillas, Jacob immediately broke the joint in half and attempted to sell the two half-joints to other Gorillas in his cage for food. He was quickly able to sell off his entire product, having already followed the first rule of drug dealing: don’t use what you sell.
Needing more to sell, Jacob walked back up to Eric Goldberg and made the international hand signal for smoking a joint. Eric was confused at first, but realized soon that the massive ape wanted more. Reluctant at first, Eric eventually agreed to supply Jacob; the two wrote out an agreement in monkey feces wherein Eric would receive one third of the profits from Jacob’s enterprise. Eric was of course, too stupid to realize that the profits would all be fruits and vegetables as well as the occasional sexual offering from one of the Females.
Still to this day though, Eric supplies marijuana to Jacob the Silverback Gorilla and he then turns around and sells it to the other monkeys, all of whom have learned to use lighters and smoke. Since taking up the habit, the Brooklyn Zoo’s monkey feeding budget has risen by nearly 200 percent, the monkey house has become littered with Cheetoh bags, Bob Marley posters now hang on all the walls and Phish is played regularly over loudspeaker.
You join me today at the Brooklyn Zoo in New York City, which is in the United States of America. I am here to visit Jacob the Silverback Gorilla, a Gorilla unlike any other. Jacob eats like the other Gorillas, he walks and mates like the other Gorillas, but Jacob is unique because he has a side career: drug dealing.
That’s right; Jacob has been supplying the other Gorillas and great apes at the Brooklyn Zoo with one of New York City’s finest exports: New York Sour Diesel Marijuana. The story all began when Eric Goldberg- a resident of Brooklyn and known stoner- was visiting the zoo in September. Eric decided it would be a “hilarious idea” to give one of the Gorillas a joint and see what they did with it. Unknowingly, as his friends looked on and laughed, Eric passed a joint and a lighter to the nearest Gorilla, Jacob. Already recognized by the zoo staff as the smartest of their Gorillas, Jacob immediately broke the joint in half and attempted to sell the two half-joints to other Gorillas in his cage for food. He was quickly able to sell off his entire product, having already followed the first rule of drug dealing: don’t use what you sell.
Needing more to sell, Jacob walked back up to Eric Goldberg and made the international hand signal for smoking a joint. Eric was confused at first, but realized soon that the massive ape wanted more. Reluctant at first, Eric eventually agreed to supply Jacob; the two wrote out an agreement in monkey feces wherein Eric would receive one third of the profits from Jacob’s enterprise. Eric was of course, too stupid to realize that the profits would all be fruits and vegetables as well as the occasional sexual offering from one of the Females.
Still to this day though, Eric supplies marijuana to Jacob the Silverback Gorilla and he then turns around and sells it to the other monkeys, all of whom have learned to use lighters and smoke. Since taking up the habit, the Brooklyn Zoo’s monkey feeding budget has risen by nearly 200 percent, the monkey house has become littered with Cheetoh bags, Bob Marley posters now hang on all the walls and Phish is played regularly over loudspeaker.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Reddit Challenge story #18
This was a special one. I got a direct message on Reddit that asked me to write a story for the message sender's friend Cosmo (real name) for Cosmo's birthday, he gave me this prompt:
"He and I were childhood friends, but I moved away after an accident with a panini maker. Years later, we both got kidnapped by secret police, escape together, and have to fight to the death with 4 agents. The optional ending is we fall in love. Neither of us are gay, but it'd make him laugh a hell of a lot :P "
So, without further ado, here is my take. Happy birthday, Cosmo:
Nineteen years. That is how long it had been since Cosmo had seen Brian, but that did not stop Cosmo from remembering every second of their lives together. Growing up in southern California Cosmo knew from the minute he saw Brian playing in his kindergarten class with the same Tonka Truck he like, that him and Brian would be best friends. And best friends they were, playing together after school every day, hanging out on the weekends enjoying video games (when their mother didn’t make them stop and go outside.) All was well in Cosmo’s world until the unfortunate accident with the Panini maker.
It happened one night when Brian- 15 at the time- was sleep walking, which was typical for him, and his parents knew about it; they decided the best cure would be to set up the house so that he could walk around and not hurt himself. That night though, Brian’s father made a grave mistake: he left the Panini press out on the table. Sleep walking Brian spotted the Panini maker and in his half-awake state determined that a white bread and human finger Panini would be delicious. The burns discovered by doctors when Brian arrived at the hospital in the middle of the night were so bad that Brian had to be taken to a special Panini-burn ward in the only city where there were enough Paninis for this to be a serious problem: Rome. For the next 19 years, Cosmo would not hear from Brian once, not until now, with Brain standing right in front of him in a Turkish prison.
The thoughts on both of their minds were surely curious ones; neither man had any idea why he had been taken from his home, flown to a Turkish prison and locked away with his former best friend. Cosmo was the first to act, telling Brian that he missed him and that the only important thing was that they escape. Brian agreed, so at midnight, they decided to stage a prison break. Luckily, both Brian and Cosmo had been trained in martial arts and they easily overcame the first guards. Soon their real threat would come.
As the boys neared the prison exit, four men in dark suits suddenly blocked the doorway. Cosmo and Brian knew what to do and in an instant they jumped into action taking on the men in hand-to-hand combat; within seconds all four men were down. Standing face to face, each brimming with testosterone and adrenaline, Cosmo and Brian suddenly and passionately began kissing, standing right over the bodies of the men they just killed. However, not all the suited men were dead.
A few feet away from the now deeply engrossed Cosmo and Brian, one of the suited men begins to shuffle on the floor. He was barely able to move his arm, but still he managed to lift his gun out of his holster. Out of the corner of his eye Cosmo spotted the gun but before he could say anything it was too late. Brian took the bullet directly in the heart and as it struck his back arched and he writhed in pain, falling instantly to the floor. As Cosmo stared down at the only man he would ever love, only one word could escape his lips “nooooooooooooooooooo!”
"He and I were childhood friends, but I moved away after an accident with a panini maker. Years later, we both got kidnapped by secret police, escape together, and have to fight to the death with 4 agents. The optional ending is we fall in love. Neither of us are gay, but it'd make him laugh a hell of a lot :P "
So, without further ado, here is my take. Happy birthday, Cosmo:
Nineteen years. That is how long it had been since Cosmo had seen Brian, but that did not stop Cosmo from remembering every second of their lives together. Growing up in southern California Cosmo knew from the minute he saw Brian playing in his kindergarten class with the same Tonka Truck he like, that him and Brian would be best friends. And best friends they were, playing together after school every day, hanging out on the weekends enjoying video games (when their mother didn’t make them stop and go outside.) All was well in Cosmo’s world until the unfortunate accident with the Panini maker.
It happened one night when Brian- 15 at the time- was sleep walking, which was typical for him, and his parents knew about it; they decided the best cure would be to set up the house so that he could walk around and not hurt himself. That night though, Brian’s father made a grave mistake: he left the Panini press out on the table. Sleep walking Brian spotted the Panini maker and in his half-awake state determined that a white bread and human finger Panini would be delicious. The burns discovered by doctors when Brian arrived at the hospital in the middle of the night were so bad that Brian had to be taken to a special Panini-burn ward in the only city where there were enough Paninis for this to be a serious problem: Rome. For the next 19 years, Cosmo would not hear from Brian once, not until now, with Brain standing right in front of him in a Turkish prison.
The thoughts on both of their minds were surely curious ones; neither man had any idea why he had been taken from his home, flown to a Turkish prison and locked away with his former best friend. Cosmo was the first to act, telling Brian that he missed him and that the only important thing was that they escape. Brian agreed, so at midnight, they decided to stage a prison break. Luckily, both Brian and Cosmo had been trained in martial arts and they easily overcame the first guards. Soon their real threat would come.
As the boys neared the prison exit, four men in dark suits suddenly blocked the doorway. Cosmo and Brian knew what to do and in an instant they jumped into action taking on the men in hand-to-hand combat; within seconds all four men were down. Standing face to face, each brimming with testosterone and adrenaline, Cosmo and Brian suddenly and passionately began kissing, standing right over the bodies of the men they just killed. However, not all the suited men were dead.
A few feet away from the now deeply engrossed Cosmo and Brian, one of the suited men begins to shuffle on the floor. He was barely able to move his arm, but still he managed to lift his gun out of his holster. Out of the corner of his eye Cosmo spotted the gun but before he could say anything it was too late. Brian took the bullet directly in the heart and as it struck his back arched and he writhed in pain, falling instantly to the floor. As Cosmo stared down at the only man he would ever love, only one word could escape his lips “nooooooooooooooooooo!”
Reddit Challenge story #17
Topic: Garbage men in the far future, how have things changed?
It was a normal day at work for Chuck: the office looked just as usual; nothing was out of the ordinary during the day, nothing too surprising or difficult. Of course, if you knew what Chuck did for a living, if you saw his office, you might not agree that everything was normal. The year is 2169, and Chuck is a garbage man.
2169 was- as we all know- a monumental year for the people of earth, it was the year we set foot on a planet in another planetary system. For Chuck though, the day those first steps were broadcast on brain-o-vision, that event was not particularly important to him. Chuck was concentrating much more of his efforts on the Uranigators.
In 2169, being a garbage man required a PhD, and it had ever since scientists invented the nuclear-powered waste-teleportation system. The system transported waste wirelessly via special wormholes created at the site of waste creation and letting off at massive processing facilities on the outskirts of the major cities. One issue that quickly arose while initially removing all the garbage from then antique underground sewage system was the accidental transport- and then mutation- of sewer alligators, into Uranigators. The Uranigators were nearly indestructible, supremely powerful and impossible to even get near without proper radiation protection.
Chuck was the man responsible for getting rid of the Uranigators who congregate around the processing facility, and with his PhD in Nuclear Biology, he was the best man for the job. He donned his radioactivity suit and walked to the pond outside the facility where the Uranigators congregated. In his hands chuck was gripping a large weapon; it looked unlike any 21st century weapon and Chuck immediately fired a blast into the air. The Uranigators all snapped to attention, looking toward Chuck. For a moment, there was silence as the two parties stood still, waiting for the first move. Within a second or so, the Uranigators- all 15 of them- began in sprinting full bore toward Chuck, glowing brighter green as they picked up speed.
As the Uranigators raced toward him, Chuck remembered back to that ancient movie his dad used to love watching when he was a kid. It was about the rise and fall of a Cuban gangster just before the internet era. As the Uranigators neared, Chuck raised his weapon toward them and then, recalling that oh-so-famous line, he decided to belt it out before firing “You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!”
It was a normal day at work for Chuck: the office looked just as usual; nothing was out of the ordinary during the day, nothing too surprising or difficult. Of course, if you knew what Chuck did for a living, if you saw his office, you might not agree that everything was normal. The year is 2169, and Chuck is a garbage man.
2169 was- as we all know- a monumental year for the people of earth, it was the year we set foot on a planet in another planetary system. For Chuck though, the day those first steps were broadcast on brain-o-vision, that event was not particularly important to him. Chuck was concentrating much more of his efforts on the Uranigators.
In 2169, being a garbage man required a PhD, and it had ever since scientists invented the nuclear-powered waste-teleportation system. The system transported waste wirelessly via special wormholes created at the site of waste creation and letting off at massive processing facilities on the outskirts of the major cities. One issue that quickly arose while initially removing all the garbage from then antique underground sewage system was the accidental transport- and then mutation- of sewer alligators, into Uranigators. The Uranigators were nearly indestructible, supremely powerful and impossible to even get near without proper radiation protection.
Chuck was the man responsible for getting rid of the Uranigators who congregate around the processing facility, and with his PhD in Nuclear Biology, he was the best man for the job. He donned his radioactivity suit and walked to the pond outside the facility where the Uranigators congregated. In his hands chuck was gripping a large weapon; it looked unlike any 21st century weapon and Chuck immediately fired a blast into the air. The Uranigators all snapped to attention, looking toward Chuck. For a moment, there was silence as the two parties stood still, waiting for the first move. Within a second or so, the Uranigators- all 15 of them- began in sprinting full bore toward Chuck, glowing brighter green as they picked up speed.
As the Uranigators raced toward him, Chuck remembered back to that ancient movie his dad used to love watching when he was a kid. It was about the rise and fall of a Cuban gangster just before the internet era. As the Uranigators neared, Chuck raised his weapon toward them and then, recalling that oh-so-famous line, he decided to belt it out before firing “You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!”
Friday, October 21, 2011
Reddit Challenge story #16
Topic: a boy and his dog attempting to run away from home
As Johnny and Dexter ran down tree lined avenue, life finally seemed exiting. At eight years old, Johnny was fed up with his parents; they were always trying to get him to eat foods he didn’t like, do homework when he didn’t want to and they never let him play with Dexter enough. Johnny decided that the best option would be to stage a prison break with only some clothes, a Gameboy and his Black Labrador Retriever Dexter.
The prison break was expertly timed; Johnny had decided that a daylight escape at 5:00 on a calm summer day- while his mother was preoccupied preparing dinner- would be perfect. After synchronizing his Spongebob watch with the watch he put on Dexter’s collar, Johnny set off out the front door and began running down the street. He was finally free and Johnny felt amazing as Dexter ran alongside, his ears flopping in the breeze, a smile on his face. Johnny had already decided that the best place to stay would under the bridge at the school playground; nobody would see him there, he had used the spot to win hide-and-seek so many times!
When Johnny and Dexter arrived at the playground the sun was beginning to set, bathing the scenery in beautiful shades of golden red. The still-gleeful pair ducked under the playground bridge, it was covered on all sides by a thin but hard plastic sheet with different shapes poked out of it in random positions. Once inside Johnny and Dexter were mostly blocked from the sun, Johnny watched it set through a star shaped cutout. As night fell, it grew slightly colder and Dexter began to stamp his feet nervously with fear, he began to whimper. Johnny grabbed hold of Dexter around his neck and hugged him close; they both sat down and nestled together for warmth: Johnny thought of his family. He thought of his mother and father, he thought of eating home-cooked meals with them, he thought of his sister and the games they always played. Suddenly Johnny regretted his decision to run away; he missed his family!
Johnny quickly bolted upright under the bridge and Dexter sat up at attention next to him. “Come on Dex” Johnny said, smiling “lets go home!” Their run back home was almost as jubilant as their run away; Johnny would never run away from home again.
As Johnny and Dexter ran down tree lined avenue, life finally seemed exiting. At eight years old, Johnny was fed up with his parents; they were always trying to get him to eat foods he didn’t like, do homework when he didn’t want to and they never let him play with Dexter enough. Johnny decided that the best option would be to stage a prison break with only some clothes, a Gameboy and his Black Labrador Retriever Dexter.
The prison break was expertly timed; Johnny had decided that a daylight escape at 5:00 on a calm summer day- while his mother was preoccupied preparing dinner- would be perfect. After synchronizing his Spongebob watch with the watch he put on Dexter’s collar, Johnny set off out the front door and began running down the street. He was finally free and Johnny felt amazing as Dexter ran alongside, his ears flopping in the breeze, a smile on his face. Johnny had already decided that the best place to stay would under the bridge at the school playground; nobody would see him there, he had used the spot to win hide-and-seek so many times!
When Johnny and Dexter arrived at the playground the sun was beginning to set, bathing the scenery in beautiful shades of golden red. The still-gleeful pair ducked under the playground bridge, it was covered on all sides by a thin but hard plastic sheet with different shapes poked out of it in random positions. Once inside Johnny and Dexter were mostly blocked from the sun, Johnny watched it set through a star shaped cutout. As night fell, it grew slightly colder and Dexter began to stamp his feet nervously with fear, he began to whimper. Johnny grabbed hold of Dexter around his neck and hugged him close; they both sat down and nestled together for warmth: Johnny thought of his family. He thought of his mother and father, he thought of eating home-cooked meals with them, he thought of his sister and the games they always played. Suddenly Johnny regretted his decision to run away; he missed his family!
Johnny quickly bolted upright under the bridge and Dexter sat up at attention next to him. “Come on Dex” Johnny said, smiling “lets go home!” Their run back home was almost as jubilant as their run away; Johnny would never run away from home again.
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